Maureen Dowd Translated From The Original Latin

Credit where it's due: Maureen Dowd writes half of her op-ed on Sunday in Latin.

As a public service, I'll try and dust off my two decade-old mad Latin skills and translate:

(With all due apologies to Mr. Rheinschmidt...)

Manes Julii Caesaris paucis diebus aderant — “O, most bloody sight!” — cum Ioannes McCainus, mavericus et veteranus captivusque Belli Francoindosinini, et Sara Palina, barracuda borealis, qui sneerare amant Baracum Obamam causa oratorii, pillorant ut demagogi veri, Africanum-Americanum senatorem Terrae Lincolni, ad Republicanas rallias.

The spirts of the dead Julius Caesar are present -- "oh, most bloody sight!" with John McCain, maverick and prisoner of the war of French Indo-China and Sarah Palin, northern barracuda, who love to sneer on account of Barack Obama's speeches, pillorying and demogoging the African American Senator from the Land of Lincoln at Republican rallies.

Rabidi subcanes candidati, pretendant “no orator as Brutis is,” ut “stir men’s blood” et disturbant mentes populi ad “a sudden flood of mutiny,” ut Wilhelmus Shakespearus scripsit.

The rabid less-than-dogs of candidates pretend they are "no orator as Brutus is", as they "stir men's blood" and disturb the minds of the people to a "sudden flood of mutiny" as William Shakespeare wrote.

Cum Quirites Americani ad rallias Republicanas audiunt nomen Baraci Husseini Obamae, clamant “Mortem!” “Amator terroris!” “Socialiste!” “Bomba Obamam!” “Obama est Arabus!” “Caput excidi!” tempus sit rabble-rouseribus desistere “Smear Talk Express,” ut Stephanus Colbertus dixit. Obama demonatus est tamquam Musulmanus-Manchurianus candidatus — civis “collo-cerviciliaris” ad ralliam Floridianam Palinae exhabet mascum Obamae ut Luciferis.

When the screaming Americans at the Republican rallies hear the name "Barack Hussein Obama", they exclaim "Death!," "Lover of terorists!," "Socialist!," "Bomb Obama!," "Obama is an Arab!," "Cut off his head!" the time has come as Stephen Colbert says, to stop "the Smear Talk Express." Obama is demonized just as if he was a Muslim Manchurian candidate -- a citizen "stag's neck(?)" exhorts to Palin's Florida rally that Obama is the Devil.

Obama non queretur high-tech lynching. Sed secreto-serventes agentes nervosissmi sunt.

Obama did not ask for a high-tech lynching. But Secret Service agents are extremely nervous.

Vix quisque audivit nomen “Palinae” ante lunibus paucis. Surgivit ex suo tanning bed ad silvas in Terram Eskimorum, rogans quis sit traitorosus, ominosus, scurrilosus, periculosus amator LXs terroris criminalisque Chicagoani? Tu betchus!

Scarcely any person heard the name "Palin" prior to a few moons (ago). Emerging from her tanning bed to the forests in Eskimo-land, now she is asking everyone who is the most traitorous, most ominous, most scurrilous, most dangerous lover of 60's terrorists and criminals of Chicago? You betcha!

“Caeca ambitio Obamana,” novum rumorem Palina McCainusque dixit. “Cum utilis, Obama laborat cum amatore terroris Wilhelmo Ayro. Cum putatus, perjuravit.” McCainianus bossus maximus Francus Keatinx vocat Obamam, “plebeium,” et ut iuvenum snifferendum cocaini minimi (“a little blow.”)

"From blind ambition comes Obama," Palin and McCain say a new rumor. "For an advantage, Obama worked with the lover of terrorists, William Ayres. With a pruner(?), he lies." McCain's big leader Francis Keating said Obama was "a plebe" and, as a youth he must have sniffed a little cocaine.

Cum Primus Dudus, spousus Palinanus, culpari attemptaret “Centurionem-Gate,” judices Terrae Santae Elvorumque castigat gubernatricem Palinam de abusu auctoritatis per familiam revengendum.

While the First Dude, the husband of Palin, attempted to be blamed for "Centurion-gate", the judges of the land of Santa's Elves chastened the lady-Governor Palin concerning the abuse of authority for the purpose of familial revenge.

Tamen Sara et Ioannes bury Obama, not praise him. Maverici, ut capiunt auxilium de friga-domina, hench-femina, Cynthia McCaina Birrabaronessa, (quae culpat Obamam periculandi suum filum in Babylonia), brazen-iter distractant mentes populares de minimissimis IV 0 I K.ibus, deminutione “Motorum Omnium,” et Depressione Magna II.0. Omnes de Georgio Busio Secundo colossale goofballo. “V” (because there’s no W. in Latin) etiam duxit per disastrum ad gymnasium.

Notwithstanding Sarah and John bury Obama not praise him. The Maverices along with the their chief aide, the frost-lady, henchwoman Cindy McCain, beer-baroness (who blamed Obama for putting her own son in maximum danger in Babylon) brazenly distract the minds of the people from their decimated 401ks, the shrinking "General Motors" and the Great Depression 2.0. This is all from "W", George Bush the second, the colossal goofball certainly is leading through disaster to the gym.

Gubernatrix (prope Russia) Palina, spectans candidaciam MMXII, post multam educationem cum Kissingro et post multam parodiam de Sabbatis Nocte Vivo atque de Tina Feia, ferociter vituperat Obamam, ut supralupocidit (aerial shooting of wolves) in Hyperborea.

The lady-Governor (lying next to Russia) Palin, looking to be a candidate in 2012, after much learning with Kissinger and much parody from Saturday Night Live and Tina Fey, will insult Obama arrogantly, in the manner of shooting wolves from the air, North of Thrace.

Vilmingtoni, in Ohionem, McCain’s Mean Girl (Ferox Puella) defendit se gladiatricem politicam esse: “Pauci dicant, O Jupiter, te negativam esse. Non, negativa non sum, sed verissima.” Talk about lipsticka in porcam! Quasi Leeus Atwater de oppugnatione Busii Primi ad Dukakem: “non negativus, sed comparativus.”

In Wilmington, Ohio, McCain's mean girl defended herself being a warrior-politician-lady, "O Jupiter, some people say that this is negative. No. It is not negative, but the highest truth." Talk about lipstick on a pig! Just as Lee Atwater (said) about George Bush the First's assault to Dukakis: "it's not a negative, but a comparison."

The Historic McCain-Palin Ticket

Not quite the way Gerry Ferraro would have imagined it:

Now that Sarah Palin has been found to have abused her powers, violated state ethics, and lied about it, I did a little digging and found an interesting historical footnote.

The McCain/Palin ticket is the first in American history in which both candidates were found to have violated ethics standards before a national election.

2000, 2008

John McCain was the first guy in the country to hate George W. Bush in 2000, and seemingly the last guy to support his policies in 2008.

It will cost him the Presidency twice.

Parnell was good, but...

Here's what SNL missed out on:



He gives Darrell Hammond a run for his money too.

The most pedantic article about Mad Men ever

And thus, a must read.

Obama Sees The Future

Obama predicted the McCain campaign tactics of the past few weeks back on July 30th.

Separated At Birth

Joe Scarborough and Matthew Perry.

McCain's Final Act of Service to His Country

At least he's taking all sorts of reckless, crazy political acts off the table for generations to come?

Economic Advice

Given today's continued economic cratering, isn't investing in Obama on Intrade or IEM actually a good hedge against further losses?

John McCain is a Class Act

Remember the African-American guy that John McCain seemed to be a condescending jackass towards at the town hall meeting? ("You probably never even heard of Fannie or Freddie before this crisis.")

Well, it turns out that John McCain actually was a condescending jackass:

How did I feel about Sen. McCain stating “You probably never heard of Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac before this.”

Well Senator, I actually did. I like to think of myself as a fairly intelligent person. I have a bachelor degree in Political Science from Tennessee State, so I try to keep myself up to date with current affairs. I have a Master degree in Legal Studies from Southern Illinois University, a few years in law school, and I am currently pursuing a Master in Public Administration from the University of Memphis. In defense of the Senator from Arizona I would say he is an older guy, and may have made an underestimation of my age. Honest mistake. However, it could be because I am a young African-American male. Whatever the case may be it was somewhat condescending regardless of my age to make an assumption regarding whether I was knowledgeable about Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac.

Obama's Path To Victory

If the election were held today, I think Obama would win 375 electoral votes:

All of the Kerry States (252) plus:

Iowa (7) & New Mexico (5)--all but locked up.

Virginia (13)--which will take him over 270.

After that, I think it would be a clean sweep of the following swing states, from biggest margin to smallest:

Colorado (9), Nevada (5), Florida (27) & Ohio (20).

The following three are legitimate polling toss-ups, but I have to think that the superiority of the Obama ground game will be determinative here:

North Carolina (15), Missouri (11), Indiana (11).

This is probably Obama's ceiling--and it is legitimately a landslide. To get beyond this, there will truly have to be an unprecedented turn-out for new voters, young voters, and African Americans. Bad news for your 401k, the Dow would probably have to drop another 1,000 points or so, too--Obama would have to increase his national polling average by another 4-5 points or so.

If you want to start to really get greedy, the next state that Obama could get would probably be Georgia (15). Early polling in Georgia has shown that 9% of the state has voted, and that they favor Obama 64-35. Now there is no way that that is going to last, but it does indicate that the Obama campaign is outhustling the McCain campaign in getting their voters to the polls early. A good sign.

Beyond that, the next most likely state to fall is strangely West Virginia (5)--a state that gave Obama less than 30% of the vote in the primaries. One less than reputable poll gives Obama an 8 point advantage here.

After that, the only states I think Obama could win would be Montana (3) and North Dakota (3). Pre-Sarah Palin, I think Obama could have won both (along with Alaska), but that seems very remote at this point.

But, if Obama supporters stay focused and hungry for the next four weeks, and Republicans get increasingly depressed about the election and stay home, we could be in for some very, very, pretty numbers.

Raaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiineeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrr

The creator of the best television commercials in history (especially if you were a kid growing up in Seattle in the late 70's/early 80's) blasts modern political ads:

"I have never seen a political ad I liked," Heckler said from his Belltown office. "And I've seen very few all of the way through because I usually turn them off."

Tina Fey Saves America

Here's proof:

About 33 percent of independents said the "Tina Fey effect" is hurting the McCain-Palin ticket, compared with 9 percent who said it was helpful, a Fox 5/The Washington Times/Rasmussen Reports survey says. The figures were nearly identical among independents in the survey.

Tina Fey 2, Republicans 0.

UPDATE:

Are the Republicans fighting back by trying to make Sarah Palin look less like Tina Fey?

Brokaw as Ifill

Just to make a point, but isn't pretty much every Tom Brokaw book about the noble patriotism of old white guys who were soldiers?

On Endorsements

Do they sway voters? Probably not. But they definitely sway media narratives.

In light of the endorsement from Chuck Hagel's wife today, the question has been raised about Chuck Hagel's rumored endorsement (and Colin Powell's). Clearly Nebraska's 2nd Congressional district electoral vote is in play--witness Sarah Palin playing defense (and then lying about it) on Sunday.

But the one constant in the Obama camp is that they have been masters of timing their endorsements perfectly: Ted Kennedy, Bill Richardson, John Edwards.

Chuck Hagel endorsing Obama will be a big deal--media-wise. My guess is that the Obama camp is saving that card for if and when they need it. (It would be pretty effective for Colin Powell and Chuck Hagel to endorse Obama after a Bin Laden videotape emerged, for instance.)

Opening the Debate

Will Obama beat McCain to the punch, and offer condolences to Joe and Jill Biden over the passing of Jill's mother, or will McCain try to double down on the Ted Kennedy card?

Keith's Special Comment

Women in glass igloos, shouldn't cast stones...

Bailout Politics

I'm just saying--if John McCain had opposed the bailout bill last week, it had still passed, and the Dow still ended up under 10,000 today, wouldn't he have a much better set of talking points today than warmed over William Ayres smears?

Apple Rumors

Is Cupertino throwing in the towel on squelching Apple rumors on the net?

Obama Drops Keating Bomb

Watch:

Thursday's SNL

Given their new penchant for casting cameos as debate moderators (Chris Parnell as Jim Lehrer, Queen Latifah as Gwen Ifill), would it be too much to hope for SNL bringing back Dana Carvey as Tom Brokaw?

The Conservation of Comedy

This year, Tina Fey is having precisely an equal and opposite reaction from Will Ferrell in 2000.

Where Ferrell took Bush's folksy, mentally deficient "charm" and turned it into a likable positive, Fey is doing exactly the same thing to Palin, but turning it into a devastating negative.



Turnabout is fair play.

Jon Meachem Explains It All

A fascinating look inside Palinworld and dangers Sarah Palin's "you betcha" politics pose to the country.